Out of Sync with my children – Reset day needed

Stress, my stress, my boys stress and by extension my (self-employed working from home) husbands stress, it all seamed very out of sync recently, Baby D (who is officially now a toddler not a baby!) was not napping properly, L was getting super abstinent about getting dressed in the morning to go out to groups, despite saying he wanted to go, and I was feeling so frustrated and finding it hard to not shout and was feeling like I was not getting quality time with my boys.
One morning L was dragging his heels again.
I said “Do you not want to go to the group and see your friends? Because if you don’t hurry up we will miss it”
His response was “I don’t want to go”
Now I thought we would get upset later if he missed the group but decided let’s just go with it and see what happened, it became an intentional, unstructured day, and a new rhythm soon emerged.
For a while it has felt like the boys very different needs have been at odds with each other, but with a simple reset day we have found that we just needed a new schedule for the day, pretty much turned our day on its head and it works perfect.
Bath is now in the morning after breakfast so D can nap afterwards and then L and I get one too one time, as L is getting closer and closer to school age and the start of our official home education, his interest in reading, writing and maths has just been sky rocketing so these new one too one times have been spent doing the activities in his Octonauts magazines, he loves marine life so much, I have a feel most of our “lessons” will be based around the ocean for some time to come.
I am now also managing to get one too one time with D (not just while Breastfeeding him) while L is learning to use the computer (Google image, safe search on and a piece of paper with the word he wants to look up, written on it).
We are still getting out of the house just after lunch instead of the mornings, so groups are out but there is still plenty to do, especially when from a little boys point of view, pretending that the shadows are ice and you have to walk carefully over them, is an activity in itself!
I remember now having lots of reset days when L was around D’s age, as his wants and needs changed so much at this stage.
I definitely feel that children (and adults) benefit from having a routine, but that they need regular reviews (reset days) to check they are still what works best for the children.
How long our new routine will last I don’t know but for now we are a stress free family again.